A Real Cool Hand

I'm Craig Sturgis and this is a web site.

Craigslist Literature: Aeron Edition

When I post anything that’s not completely boring or straightforward for sale on craigslist1, I decided to try to add a bit of extra flair to my listings. If nothing else, to try to entertain people who might see it, and at best increase my chances of selling the item. This was my first attempt, and the chair sold today!

Wounded Aeron Chair Seeks A Better, More Mechanically Inclined Partner – $200 (South Broad Ripple)

I used to be so majestic.

I was a shining example of that most famous of office chairs, the Aeron. The crown jewel of Herman Miller’s eye, bringing joy and ergonomic fortitude to the backs and hind parts of the beleaguered office worker.

I was as flexible and supportive as any chair could be, until for reasons I’ll never understand I wasn’t enough. I was unceremoniously shipped off into the secondary market where I joined a group of my brothers and sisters in a lot put up for sale on this very website.

And that’s when I saw him – my new partner who took his time sitting in each and every one of the chairs – passing up the other brand new upstarts in the shop for old reliable me. I was the pick of the litter. My second act was about to take flight!

But the honeymoon did not last. I remained supportive as ever but my lower half was not as strong as it used to be, and I could not stay adjusted to the new height required to be ergonomically stable. And so I was relegated to the sidelines once again, awaiting a shipment of a hydraulics replacement kit.

When the day arrived for my surgery, I was apprehensive, but looking forward to getting back in the game. A couple of pdfs and some youtube videos later, and I figured it would be smooth sailing with all this support information.

The surgery was not a success. Despite clear instructions from all over the internet my new owner was not good at removing my well implanted seat screw, and ended up breaking out the screw housing completely. Also, despite his best efforts, he could not figure out a way to remove the hydraulic assembly that was the main reason he took me apart in the first place! I do not think he is as mechanically inclined as he thinks he is.

So, now I sit, in pieces, hoping for the day when somebody who actually knows how to properly assemble a chair will come and rescue me. To add insult to injury I had to watch as another more functional chair was wheeled in as I sat broken in the corner, a refugee from the island of misfit chairs.

Please, if anyone out there is not a complete failure at chair repair, you can have me and my $79 hydraulic replacement kit for one low, low price. I’ve still got so much love and support to give!

  1. I colloquially refer to craigslist as “my list”